Dear family,
Thank you for your inspired and wonderful emails. They've added some fuel to the fire I'm trying to keep blazing until the end. I can't express how much love and support I've felt from "hearing" your voices through letters each week. Thank you for keeping me burning bright!
People often say that missions are an 18-month-long roller coaster. It is so true. And I've felt like the ride this past week has had particularly dramatic ups and downs. :) Thankfully with going to the temple and talking to President Day for a little bit afterwards, I was able to tell Satan to "get behind me" and rid the feelings of doubts that I wasn't doing well in my mind. But there were still some super-crazy things that happened this week. For example, I was talking to this lady on the sidewalk but she looked so unwilling to talk to me that she just started saying, "No thanks, I'm good" over and over again while not paying attention to where she was walking and walked into the street right as a motorcyclist was pulling over. I grabbed her arm and pulled her back onto the sidewalk and said "WATCH OUT!" (in Chinese - I'm already bracing myself for the Chinese that I'll say all the time on accident when I get back). She didn't looked fazed at all - just kept saying that she didn't have time to talk and then walked away. So crazy.
I think Saturday was probably the craziest day of them all. That was the day we had planned to go to the temple with Yu Jiemei that morning and then have a baptism later that night (aka one of the best days of my mission). It all happened, but definitely not according to plan! We got to the temple at 7:40, 20 minutes before the first earliest session started. The temple president looked confused as to why we were there, so I explained that we were there to see Yu Jiemei. He said, "What?! But the session's already started!" And I said, "How is that possible? We got here for the earliest session!" I guess that sessions don't really "start" at a time if people are ready - they had everything set up. One of the temple workers sped off to the room as quickly as he could without running while I tried to see what could be done. When he got back he said that they hadn't actually said anything in the session yet, that if we got ready super-fast we could still join in. You better believe that time was the fastest we ever got ready for the temple! The session ended up being great - my first time doing it in Chinese. Yu Jiemei was crying by the end - she was so happy to be in the temple. I said, "You see? This is why we started talking about the temple right after you got baptized. This is the happiness we wanted you to experience." She just nodded her head. I love her so much - she's planning on going back to the temple next month to do work for her mom and grandma and then get sealed to both of her parents. I'm so proud of her. She is enduring to the end in the best and most real sense - she is rejoicing to the end.
That day we had a lot small things that went wrong that really weren't super-bad but were still a little tiring/stressful. For example, I forgot to turn on the heater and the water for Jing Xuan's baptism (you're supposed to get it started a few hours early) until an hour before, so I called the zone leaders. Poor Elder Patrick. This is pretty much a direct quote of how the phone conversation went:
Elder Patrick: "Hello?"
Sister Winters: "I need you to turn on the heater and the water RIGHT NOW."
Elder Patrick: "Relax, Sister Winters, we've had it turned on for a while. You're going to be fine."
Sister Winters: "Oh. *huge sigh of relief* Thank you so much. Sorry."
Elder Patrick: *Laughs* "We'll see you later. It'll be fine."
...I'm sure all of the elders think that I'm kind of insane sometimes. So we got the water worked out alright (and the musical number - Elder Slawson thought I was kidding when I said I wanted us to play a violin duet and didn't bring a violin. Note to reader: I was not kidding. But I got an extra violin). The only problem that needed resolving was Jing Xuan. We told her to come a half an hour early at 6:30. Didn't make it. 7:00. Didn't make it. Called. Said she'd be about a half and hour late. I said, "Jing Xuan, this is YOUR BAPTISM. Everyone is waiting here for YOU." Poor thing - she was sick and I think had to go take a bus on her own to go see a doctor and then I think lost track of time. That half an hour (it ended up being about 45 minutes) of waiting for her was pretty bad. Multiple people asked me if my other baptisms were like this, if this was a "normal" thing for me. It killed me to think that this was my only baptism in Shilin after working here for so long, but things were going so wrong. And instead of the members feeling like I'd helped them and served them, it felt like they wished I hadn't ever served there. There was even an investigator that came with her husband (who isn't a huge fan of the Church but was willing to see what it was like) who had such a bad experience at the baptismal service that she's not sure she'll ever get baptized now. Jing Xuan finally made it and the baptismal service itself went very smoothly, but there was still a big weight on my heart with how hard my "perfect day" had been and how I felt like the members viewed me. I poured out my heart to Heavenly Father (I can say that I've been doing that even more than usual in these past few weeks) and told Him about everything that's going on. I told Him that I knew it wasn't about me, but that I really wanted to be able to see some fruits of my labors and to feel like He was proud of me.
...And then yesterday I got my answer. And then got it again. And again. And again. It started out not too well - there were quite a few investigators who were supposed to be at church who didn't come. After the first hour, I asked Sister George if we could go to an unused room in the church so I could pray for a while. There were some small feelings of peace and clarity, but my mind was so full of thoughts that it was hard to concentrate on those feelings. The members were very sweet and would occasionally stop and squeeze my hand and say things like, "thank you for everything you've done here." Clear evidence that God heard my prayers. But then last night He really outdid Himself. Last night we had a "going away party" for Elder Darley (who's also going home) and me. It was very simple - we ate food and then both of us had 15 minutes apiece to share things about our missions. I was a little worried - I don't think I've ever given a 15-minute talk before, much less in Chinese. But the Spirit was strong as I bore my testimony about how much I loved my mission and the people in Taiwan. I was able to tell a few stories from preparing for my mission and from serving the people here. Tears were in people's eyes as we all "rejoiced and were edified together." It was the same way with Elder Darley. Something that was amazing to see at the activity was just how many difference spheres we're able to touch as missionaries. Yes, there were investigators present. But there were also members, less-active and active, new and old. There were even people from English class that I'd taught who were grateful for my service. There was an investigator who I met in my second week here in Shilin. She had just assumed that missionaries stay in an area for a certain amount of time that's set before they arrive - she was shocked to find out that I had a chance of moving each transfer but ended up staying. "God knew that I needed you here," she said. There was a less-active who I talked to who was in tears that I had to leave. When I got here, she had hit a super-low point in her life and has through God's help made some huge changes in her life. "Thank you for coming to Taiwan," she said. "If you hadn't come to Taiwan, I wouldn't have known where He is." There was a family that came late - I only visited them once, but it was at a time where they too needed serious help. Although they were normally very active, they had hit some huge setbacks in their lives and needed God's help. I feel like we came at just the right time. They hadn't been reading their scriptures for a couple of weeks, but with our invite to come fully back, they put their trust in God and are now fully active again. There was a less-active who came to church yesterday for the first time in years. She's a 70-year-old woman who we saw on the ward roster but didn't know anything about. Turns out she just needed people to show that they love her and want her back at church. Through only a few visits, she came to church yesterday. And loved it. And is planning on coming back every week now.
Like I said, Heavenly Father really outdid Himself. Last night I was overwhelmed with gratitude as I saw my prayers answered over and over again as I saw the lives of so many people that I've touched in the short time that I've served here. And I know that that number of people will continue to grow - President Day called yesterday to tell me that there are now an added 20+ people attending each branch in Taidong and that there are nine people getting baptized between the two branches next week. God loves us. It's so exciting to see the miracles happening on this small island. As President Hinckley said, "God must love the Asian people... because He made so many of them." It's true. Not only because He made so many of them (although that is definitely true), but because I've felt it. I love the people of Taiwan. And will love them forever. I've loved my mission. It has been more than everything I hoped it would be. I know that Jesus Christ is our Savior. I know that He and Heavenly Father want us to be happy. I know that They want us back in Their presence. I know that only by following the Savior can we achieve real lasting happiness in life. In these past 18 months, I have found this happiness. I have been so, incredibly happy. I know that this church, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, is God's church. I know that this church and Jesus Christ's Gospel can change lives - I've seen it, both in others' lives and in mine. I love the scriptures and know that they are the word of God. I have loved sharing them and the Gospel with others - I have "rejoiced in it above that of the world."
Thank you again for your unfailing support over these past 18 months. Your letters have so often been the answer to my prayers and have been such a huge source of strength. Your prayers have also been felt - thank you. I will still need them this week as I finish with everything that I have to give. Please pray for us to find those who are prepared to hear these "good tidings of great joy." They're out there, they just need us to find them! We found a potential yesterday who is SO PREPARED and whose last name is "Wei" (same as mine, which isn't very common) who we're meeting with on Wednesday - those are the kinds of people we need to find. Thank you thank you thank you! I love you all and am excited to see you soon.
All my love,
Sister Winters
PS - Rena did not get baptized - she had a rough week. We saw her yesterday and were amazed at how changed her countenance was from not reading the scriptures daily. It really was a visible change. But then there was another change over that brief 30-minute visit as the Spirit worked on her. She will be fine, but she also needs your prayers. Thank you!
No comments:
Post a Comment